Pussyole musicians (working title)

It appears today that musicians are lacking a certain grit, a level of endurance, an attitude that screams ‘fuck you I’m invincible’ before collapsing in a drug-addled heap mid set. When I was a wee nipper people in bands seemed untouchable, goliaths stomping on the face of all that is polite and respectable and never tiring of the process. Nowadays it seems that gigs are cancelled constantly, due to flu (the sniffles), dehydration (a hangover) and all manner of other ‘illnesses’ that seem to sound a lot worse than they actually are.

In the news today Lady Gaga reportedly cancelled her show in Indiana because she had fainted earlier in the day. This was apparently because she had been dehydrated and exhausted. Some might think ‘oh she fainted fair enough’, but you have to wonder how these things actually happen. What, her entourage couldn’t afford to stock any bottled water? Or she simply forgot to sleep one night? I, like most human beings, am capable of looking after myself. This often involves drinking when I am thirsty and sleeping now and then. Even if you look at this as a one off, the reality of it is she probably necked too many cocktails the night before and woke up with a throat like sandpaper. Most normal people would see this as sign to glug some water or get some rest, especially if they had promised thousands of people to be somewhere the following evening.


So because of an incident that probably lasted for no more than a few seconds - I don’t suspect the bitch was out cold for long - fans have to wait for an extra couple of weeks to see her. And you can’t really just blame these idiots for buying Gaga tickets in the first place, at times her music can almost be listenable (as long as your good ear is blocked and the other thinks you’re listening to some obscure kraut rock band). The point is if a grizzled, 3000yr-old Lemmy can make it to a Motorhead performance with face like a pair of wet jeans and a glazed look in his eyes, why can’t these sprightly 20-somethings? Shit, Lemmy would probably be worried if he didn’t wake up with a throat like sandpaper! So man-up Gaga - but not literally, we don’t want those rumours to spread again now do we?