Somebody throttle that flamingo, Flowers is back!

The Killers are on hiatus. If that statement didn't make you want to pump your fist in the air and shout 'yes', then you should probably leave now. That's it take your Mr Brightside tee and be gone foul demon. Anyway the problem for us normal people is that the band's singer Brandon Flowers has decided to disgrace our planet further by releasing a solo record named after a gregarious wading bird in the genus Phoenicopterus (wiki win). Whilst for the average joe (who spends most of his time wading through WKD at his local nightclub) this a good thing, those of us with taste must unite to stamp out this dark threat.

What really bugged me about The Killers in general is that the band managed to float along on fairly small roster of 'hits' (anagram: shit). In my opinion the songs transcended the band - case in point, 'Mr Brightside'. As you will all know this is a song you simply cannot escape on a night out, no matter where you are and no matter how many guns you are holding to the DJ's wooden head. It is the bread and butter of any 'indie' club night and essentially the chav's much loved national anthem. What's more the lyrics are absolute tripe, e.g. 'Gotta be down because I want it all'. Not only do I get the impression that Flowers will happily shove any old word in to fit his melodies, I've witnessed many people reciting these lines as if they are gospel. Seriously, the warm glow of dedication beaming off these idiots' faces is sickening. And don't get me started on the dance routines ('open up my eager eyes' gets them particularly animated).

So what can we expect from Flowers on this solo album? Well not another Hot Fuss, that's for sure. The last Killers' penned studio album was the nonsensical Day and Age, another example of an 'indie' group going all electronic on us in dismal effort to remain relevant. However, despite my displeasure the album went Platinum and sold like a bergillian anderson copies. Unfortunately I can't disprove this or chuckle about the album plummeting into obscurity, but in my honest opinion The Killers could have released a collection of auto-tuned farts and still achieved the same level of success. Take for example lead single 'Human'. Again this track was filled with infuriating lyrics which made no sense - main offender: 'Are we human or are we dancer?' Shouldn't that be plural you moustache-faced prick?

Steer clear people!